Do you remember comedian Jeff Foxworthy’s “you might be a redneck if…” routine from the early 1990s? It is such a legendary piece that a lot of others have copied it just by replacing “redneck” with some other term. Well, I’m not one to pass by a comfortable bandwagon offering a free ride, so I have come up with my own take on the same routine.
“You might be an eyewear snob if…” is the topic of this article. It is something we can all laugh about given the fact that we’ve all known a snob or two in our lifetimes. Whether it’s wine snobs, chocolate snobs, or any other kind of person who is snobbish about his or her own particular thing, snobs are everywhere.
As a side note, you should be worried if you don’t know any snobs. Your lack of snobbish observations in others suggests you may be the snob in your circle of friends. But enough of that, let us get on to the main point of this piece.
You Might Be an Eyewear Snob If:
You’re Willing to Pay Extra for Packaging
According to Salt Lake City-based Olympic Eyewear, one way to tell the difference between something like an authentic Ray-Ban product and a Chinese knockoff is the packaging. Genuine Ray-Bans are usually packaged in a thick cardboard box complete with the brand’s logo. Knockoffs tend to come in cheap, thin cardboard boxes that look like they’ve been through a bad weather event.
If you care about packaging, you may very well be an eyewear snob. That is not to say you should start looking at Chinese knockoffs, but rather that you prefer thick cardboard over a thinner alternative. You’re even willing to pay for it.
You Know the Difference between Hinges
Eyewear makers use many different kinds of hinges depending on frame design and material. I won’t bother to list them all here because there’s just too many. Suffice it to say you might be an eyewear snob if you know exactly what I’m talking about. You know who you are. If you are an eyewear snob, you can list every kind of hinge and the designers that use each one.
You Check Eyewear Serial Numbers
Eyewear snobs are so concerned about only buying the most expensive designer brands that they actually take the time to check serial numbers. As just one example, a pair of genuine sunglasses from Gucci will feature a serial number printed on the left arm and a “made in Italy” inscription on the other. The serial number consists of multiple groups of numbers that relate to model, color, lens features and other information.
You Won’t Purchase Anything without Etched Lenses
It’s pretty normal for high-end brands to differentiate themselves by etching lenses with their company logos or initials. Ray-Ban is a good example yet again. Every pair of genuine Ray-Bans has a small ‘RB’ etching in at least one lens.
You might be an eyewear snob if you refuse to purchase anything that doesn’t have an etched lens. You see etching as an affirmation of your own commitment to quality, telling the world you care enough to be a walking advertisement for your favorite brand.
All kidding aside, people can be very serious about their eyewear choices. For every person fully committed to Luxottica brands like Ray-Ban and Oakley, there are others who swear by Olympic Eyewear brands like Air Force and CG. It’s all good, just as long as any perceived snobbery doesn’t come between friends. You wear your favorite sunglasses; I’ll wear mine. No worries.